From the Rookie Corner – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

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Despite the fact that can literally hear the theme to the cartoon show in my head, I have never paid much attention to TMNT. I did not see the old movies. I haven’t watched any of the TV shows.  I have not read any of the comics. (GASP) This weekend was not only a holiday weekend, but also the tail end of summer break. We were all a bit bored and had pretty much run out of things to do. As anyone with short people knows – a house full of toys, books, TVs, videos games, the great outdoors, bikes, balls, skateboards = ‘nothing to do’ or ‘boring’. So, despite the fact that I had previously had no intention of going to see the latest TMNT film –  we were off. My expectations were low. The last movie I went to see in the theater was Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything after that was destined to be shit. If you had been ignoring it like I have, here’s the trailer:

Right out the gate – I do NOT want to see this. Megan Fox = no thanks. I am not a fan of her “acting”. I am still annoyed about Transformers. The film also starred Will Arnett and Whoopi Goldberg… so, I thought maybe it wouldn’t suck. The film was directed by Jonathan Liebesman who also directed Darkness Falls and Battle Los Angeles – two movies I actually saw and did not hate. He also directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Killing Room and Wrath of the Titans – none of which I have seen…. or if I did, I forgot. That happens sometimes…. back to the movie:

The turtles themselves looked ‘ok’ in previews and released images, but to me, this was totally a wait-for-the-DVD type of film. Yet, there I was. Sitting in the theater. The shitty one – not the nice one. Bunch of loud ass people and a crying baby. The trip started out AWESOME. Even the popcorn sucked. How do you fuck up popcorn? I don’t know – but this theater has done it! Anyway – there I was…. In the theater. Getting ready to watch a movie I do not want to see…..

So, truth is – it wasn’t bad. Not great. Don’t expect any gold statues or anything – but it was entertaining. As I said – the turtles looked ok – but I think they should have spent a little more time working on Splinter. The character looked like a bad CGI/Puppet combo. Where the turtles had expressive faces – Splinter was a bit too stiff. I know – it’s a giant mouse, but it looked even worse next to the turtles. 

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In my opinion, it looked like all the effort went into the turtles and this guy was a rush job…

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As for Shredder, well, this guy’s fashion choices were pretty cool:

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Without his shiny suit, the character is kept in the shadows. IN his shiny suit, he is all badass – which is pretty easy to do when you are encased in a robotic suit of armor..

The film had a few laughs. They did capture the ‘teenage’ side of the turtles. There was, of course, all sorts of ninja-ness and a fair amount of action. 

Overall, it wasn’t bad. I went in expecting to hate it. We checked it out at a matinee, so it wasn’t too pricey. Is it ‘theater worthy’? Yeah – if you have nothing else to do, check it out. Otherwise, wait until this gem hits DVD. If you think you can trust a rookie….

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