From the Rookie Corner – Why Isn't THIS a Movie?!?!

bad-movies

There seems to be a shortage of good movies lately. Sometimes it seems the best of a film can be seen during the trailer. The trailer looks great because the movie would be great – if it was 2.5 minutes long. Apparently, anything longer than that is just too much. Yes, I did see Captain America: The Winter Soldier and I was indeed blown away. It was full of action – but intelligent with bits of humor sprinkled in. Brilliant. Aside from that, lately I have been left feeling let down after watching films. I rarely go to the theater any more because I HATE wasting a night out – sitter, no kids – on crap. I have been waiting for most to hit digital release before I watch them….. So, I have been reading a little more than usual. I have even been reading some books WITHOUT pictures. GASP! Shocking, I know. My most recent find was Jonathan Maberry’s 2009 novel Patient Zero. I had been looking for a decent zombie book . Why I never found this before, I do not know. The synopsis on Goodreads had my attention:

51VqffXJkqLWhen you have to kill the same terrorist twice in one week there’s either something wrong with your world or something wrong with your skills… and there’s nothing wrong with Joe Ledger’s skills.  And that’s both a good, and a bad thing.  It’s good because he’s a Baltimore detective that has just been secretly recruited by the government to lead a new taskforce created to deal with the problems that Homeland Security can’t handle. This rapid response group is called the Department of Military Sciences or the DMS for short. It’s bad because his first mission is to help stop a group of terrorists from releasing a dreadful bio-weapon that can turn ordinary people into zombies. The fate of the world hangs in the balance….

Decided to give it a go. Ledger is more sarcastic and snarkier than I am. A feet, for sure. Not sure it qualifies as a ‘horror book’ – but the story had me hooked. It has horror elements with the zombie thing – but it has what I think of as ‘real world’ scary. When you take something that COULD happen (bioterrorism) and kick it up, THAT is the shit I find scary. Is it Shakespeare? No. So don’t expect it. I am now on the fourth book in the series – and I am sure at some point this shit will get redundant (or will it….) but for now I am entertained. There is a TON of action.  After finishing the first book – I could not help but wonder – where is the movie? Did I miss it? Nope. I found in 2010 there was chatter that the novels would be made in to a TV series. That would have been ok, but I think this bad boy needs a bigger budget. Bio-terrorism and zombies?? This shit needs big bucks. Plus – there re SIX – yes, six, books so far. I am on book four, and my snarky, hating everything ass is STILL all in. So far, there is PLENTY to make into a film SERIES. Seriously, Hollywood – get on this shit. With the popularity of The Walking Dead, SOMEONE should pull their head out and do something with this. There is SO much action FULL of sarcasm in these books, in my head this would be an old school Bruce Willis flick. A-la Die Hard. 

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Younger Bruce would have been epic in the role (says me). Now? I think Matt Damon could pull it off – think Bourne character mash-up with Good Will Hunting. BAM.

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With THIS attitude

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BAM. Joe f’ing Ledger.

IF someone were to tackle this – and do it RIGHT – it could be brilliant. It would have action. It would be intelligent. It would have ZOMBIES. It would have terrorism. And science. And military stuffs. AND it would have a character with a tragic past that would hook people. Hollywood – you made five – FIVE – of these:

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THIS got made..

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Can someone PLEASE take a break from the reboots, remakes and shitty movies and do this? DAMMIT. I think this is one time you can legit trust a rookie. For all you non-Hollywood types, if you have not read Patient Zero, I do recommend. If you are feeling lazy, the audio is great..

The books that follow are all written so you can jump in with any book. I accidentally read the first and then the sixth book – Code Zero – before jumping back to book two.The books that follow the first can stand alone. This shit is awesome. Go read it. And SOMEONE MAKE A MOVIE ALREADY…

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